Talk of modesty (as in clothes) is a very popular topic on Christian blogs, especially in the summer. It's winter, but why not talk about it? It's still relevant. So many posts by middle-aged women go viral because, well, because why? Their views and words on modesty are eye-opening, sometimes saying modest is the only way to go, and sometimes saying to throw it out the window. My views and words will probably lean towards the former, I can assure you that, but I hope my personal views help someone, open their eyes, as they come from a 14 year old girl following hard after Jesus.
So, first thing's first: why do we dress modestly? Sadly, one of the number one reasons I hear is that "we don't want boys to be distracted." I, personally, hate this reason. (Just wait. I'm not trying to be insensitive to boys, it's just that there are reasons far more important than boy's minds) Especially when I was younger, I blamed boys for having minds like that and didn't care. Now, I don't hate that reason because I hate boys and want them to fall into a lustful path (I don't, believe me), but because that's the reason Christian bloggers are putting first and foremost as to why girls have to dress modestly. For boys, so they don't daydream about girls and their bodies. I think the logic here is flawed. There should be one reason we girls dress modestly, and everything else should be a benefit. That reason? Because God tells us too! 1 Timothy 1:9, "Likewise, also that women should adorn themselves in respectable apparel, with modesty and self-control." All the other reasons are, as I said, simply benefits. And let me say, there are a lot of benefits. Guys not being distracted is one of them. It's helpful to them, and to us girls. Because they're not distracted by the skin you're showing, they can get know you, your personality, your heart, not the skin of your upper thighs or lower chest. That, my friends, will get you a boy who loves Jesus and values modesty. Getting a boy isn't the only thing, but if I'm going to get married, I want a boy who values modesty and loves Jesus. If you want a boy who values modesty, dress modestly! Another benefit, I suppose, is that when you dress modestly, it's an outward expression of your heart, or at least that you are trying hard to follow Jesus. People notice, boys notice (in good ways), and you'll earn respect, especially from your elders. Now, respect from your elders might not be what you want right now, but trust me, it's awesome when your elders treat you like the person you are: a girl following hard after Jesus.
Now we know why we dress modestly: to honor God, first and foremost. But what does dressing modestly look like? For some odd reason, it looks different for everyone. I hope I'm not the only one who finds this strange, but that's how it is. I know some pastor's daughters who wear bikinis, and some who don't. Some who wear short shorts, and some who don't. Interestingly, I find the ones who don't wear bikinis or short shorts to have better attitudes..... That's an example of how being modest on the outside effects your inside.
I've seen many modesty surveys, and they all have similar results from Christian men: short shorts/skirts/dresses, bikinis, and see-through shirts (even with a tank underneath) are not modest, studies show. I was very surprised by that last one. Really? That's what the men say.... Of course, low-cut shirts, tight fitting shirts, and tank tops are also not modest. And your bra strap? Don't let it be seen! This one kind of bothers me. I mean, all girls have to wear bras! I would think these lumps under our shirts would be just as, if not more provoking than a bra strap. But, in efforts to please God, aid men, and dress modest, I don't let mine show, but, and maybe I'm crazy for saying this, but I'd like to at least have the option. As for swimsuits, most men in these studies I read say only one pieces are modest, not tankinis. (although, some are divided, saying both are modest) Now, personally, I wear a tankini. One piece suits simply do not fit me. However, I really don't like there being any chance of my stomach being seen, so what do I do? Well, first of all, I buy tankini tops I know are one the longer side, and to go with them, a pair of coordinating, high-waisted bottoms. Being able to buy separate tops and bottoms is, like, the only thing you can do these days, and along with the fact that high-waisted is "in," makes for the perfect success story for modesty, because then there's a 5 inch overlap, making the chances of my belly being seen slim. Things like that, little successes against the battle of immodesty, makes myself and God happy, because it's definitely a battle worth fighting. So there's swim suits (I'm not even going to go into the topic of one pieces versus swim dresses), but what about the rest? Shorts are probably the hardest thing for me, because I had a pair of shorts this summer that I wore everyday (except to church) that I absolutely loved. My dad? Eh... He didn't like the length. But it was those or Nike shorts, and I know my dad hates those. My friends complain about their parents not letting them wear Nike shorts (I see where their parents are coming from, though) and I just kind of sit there with my mouth shut. When I wear Nike shorts, I can practically see the disgust on my dad's face. Does that make me want to wear them? Nope, it only discourages me. If my earthly father doesn't like them, does my heavenly father? Not at all. Wearing a different pair of shorts to please my dad is the perfect metaphor for dressing modestly to please God. I'm sure God's face is the same as my dads's face when I wear short shorts. (*Note: I'm not condemning Nike, their shorts, or anything. It's just that it was a good metaphor to use. I do wear them at ballet, to sleep, and on occasional lazy summer days.)
In conclusion, modesty is a battle we girls (and everyone) fight everyday. Why do we dress modestly? For God! That's the thing I want all of my readers to get out of this: that I'm writing this to get the message out about modesty: it pleases God, aids men, and helps your heart. I want to please God! How do I dress then? It looks different for everyone, but some principles are the same, and well, I'm just gonna say them: no bikinis, no short shorts, no low-cut shirts. Those are the modesty standards I hold for myself, and if you don't have the same, I'm not judging you, but that's what I have objectively found to be true. I hope this post helps you as we enter into summer (in like 5 months).
-Emily
What are your thoughts on modesty? Comment below, I'd love to know!
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